Don’t Write It If You Don’t mean It:
Black. & Green.
Copyright © 2018 LLJ
All rights reserved.
To Little Lo,
becoming all she can.
The black Woman is subject to being made invisible.
To being made a spectacle.
To receiving no warning.
To over perming, over working and under earning.
To being through.
To being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
To singing the blues.
To not being quite enough.
To giving too much.
To, on one hand, being labeled a diamond in the rough while,
on the other,
being forced into being a piece of coal because being “pretty” ain’t for us.
To being told she’s too much.
To not being tough enough.
To being told she isn’t de la creme enough.
To carrying on in spite of such.
Harriet Tubman smells like Frankincense and Myrrh
I know because I’ve laid at her feet
kissed her cheek
in my dreams.
I am the seed of those who made it,
but I borrow some of my soul from those
to go overboard.
Spirit that chases generations to come back around
Because energy can’t be destroyed;
Damned sure can’t drown.
I can hear
I am not allowed to show that I am a sentient being too,
because somehow it makes me weaker than you if I do.
have already been persuaded
to hate me.
But the bait you took
came off the same hook.
They took your people too.
Never having brought them back.
Our various colored skins were all sold off of the same white rack.
I have elders falling out of my seams.
This is what being full of hope
and high esteems
I do this for my Ancestors
that were Lovers
For those of us
working to be more light-filled than
It’s a full-time job deciphering this life
from what’s real.
I’m constantly reminding myself not to take
the blue pill.
Setting reminders on my phone to stay
grounded and to take time to be still.
For my Heaven’s sake.
Being aware vs being awake.
Asking ethereal beings for guidance on the
next step to take.
At our fingertips, things the ancestors
So it’s only right that we ask for their light
to shine through.
Take our talents seriously,
knowing that they
are the Universe’s gifts to we.
Figuring it out as you go gets easy—
once you remember who sent you.
Who sent you?
Who’s in you?
Who am I,
starting with releasing who I am not.
This existence can put you under a lot.
Make it hard to see
or to be free with
all the varying degrees
You gotta take time to sort through
your own mess
and karmic debt.
Big part of incarnating lies in just resolving that.
shedding false self like dead skin
like I don’t wanna have no skin left.
Trying to get to a level of consciousness
so clear that it’s see through.
Though the strivings may be stressful
Passion is always simple.
Compassion is elemental.
No matter what they tell you,
watch how far love will get you…
Follow your intuition because your soul knows more than your mental.
Balancing your feminine and masculine is essential.
You need me and I need you–
Don’t try to do it alone because none of us were meant to.
I am tired of scrolling.
I am tired of searching.
I am tired of profiling.
I am tired of following.
Tired of the tags.
Tired of the mis-texts.
Tired of the subs.
Tired of the typos.
I am tired of status.
I am tired of location.
I am tired of broken links.
I am tired o—
Tired of t—
Tired of th—
Tired of click here for a free—
Tired of the scams.
I am tired of glare.
I am tired of counting time.
I am tired of quoting.
I am tired of filtering.
-A Complete Sentence
The Universe is in a constant state of flux.
Now can you see what we are?
Hold a shell to your ear.
What do you hear?
Some say it is The Ocean
and others believe it is The Blood in your veins.
I implore you: Is there a difference?
Do each not pulse with a rhythm,
while carrying and sustaining life?
Are both not capable of raising up and crying out to the moon?
Koi are kissing their own kind
Sun on soul and skin.
you can pull words out of the wood paneling
and sentences from the spackled plaster ceiling
you were staring at.
Were they always there?
I came to a solid first draft and deleted the file by accident. This was a labor of love. I truly hope something in these e-pages resonated with you. Thank you for journeying with me.
I wish to give my images more substance and I want my words to be visualized. This is an attempt at such. The poems were written between February 2016 and May 2018. The pictures were taken in Brooklyn August 2018. Upon having the thought to combine the two, the sense of purpose I felt drove me to completion. I look forward to getting a better camera.
‘Don’t Write It If You Don’t Mean It’ will continue with “Red. & Nude.”, a collection of poems AND personal essays, this Winter. This is all in effort to make room in my heart and mind for new material. I made clear my intention to write and feel that I must literally release the old to welcome the new. I lost quite a few of my writing books in storage a few weeks ago, so this will be easier than previously thought. Silver linings.
Connect with me online and let’s catch up in the real world. I have created a Writer’s Guild and look forward to adding Writers of Color to that safe space. I look forward to hearing from you.
L. Valentine (Lauren A. Jones)